Tuesday musings

Outside my window……………….it’s bipolar. One minute it’s cloudy and rainy and the next it’s sunny and hot. Not sure what it’s going to do, but we need the rain.

I am thinking………..about everything I have to do and wondering how on earth it’s all going to get done. I haven’t been able to get around like I used to and I don’t have the energy that I once did. I am feeling old. LOL

I am thankful……………..that the Lord has been helping me with my mind set. I’ve been in my head too much and it is not good. I’ve been going over things that happened in the past and reliving them again and again, while beating myself up verbally for not doing things differently. It has been suffocating to try to come out of it.

In the kitchen…………………….there is a huge mess from lunch. Not planning on cooking dinner, as we will be out of town for dinner and my kids are going to grab a bite out.

I am wearing……………………….jean shorts, a hot pink tank top (gasp, I can just hear the old hens from the former church) and NO SHOES! I am, and forever will be, a southern girl at heart and shoes are sissies! LOL

I am creating……………….dish cloths for a friend. I haven’t been working on them very steady, so they’re taking forever. Gotta get crackin’ on ’em and get ’em done!

I am going………………….to get a few things moved out of the house this weekend, I hope. Hubby is getting pallets to put down in the storage unit we rented and I need to get some boxes, so we can get some of this boxed up and out of here!

I’m wondering…………………what’s wrong with my suburban. It isn’t running right and the mechanic, a total brain, told us to just run it and see what happens. I seriously want to go slap him. If there wasn’t a problem with it, we wouldn’t have taken it into him. I’m ready to find another shop. We’ll see what happens though.

I’m reading………………….mainly working in a Bible study and reading stuff online. Evidently, I’m a “fixer” by nature and that translates into “codependent”. Who would have thought!?! I’m the one who takes care of everyone else. It’s what I’ve always done. I just thought moms did that. According to what I’ve been reading, I’m not taking care of myself and that’s where the problem comes in. I need boundaries with some of my loved ones, instead of letting them do whatever while I suffer because of it. It’s my own doing. I am *not* blaming anyone, but myself here.

I’m hoping……………….hubby and I can start going to breakfast again. We used to get out early in the mornings and go eat breakfast before he went off to work. We haven’t done that in forever. I miss it.

I’m looking forward to……………….our counseling appointment today. We’re doing pretty good and it seems like there are times when things are almost normal. There are still a lot of trust issues and things to overcome, but we’re getting there.

I’m learning…………………who I can trust and who I have to smile and give quiet platitudes to. Sounds awful, but I am sick of getting hurt and I don’t trust people like I used to.  I’m also learning that I don’t need “friends” like I once thought I did.

Around the house…………………………Sarah is reading online, Ben is watching tv and I am blogging. The dogs are doing their every day normal sleep-the-afternoon-away routine. They’ve got it down pat!

One of my favorite things is…………………..fresh seafood from the Gulf Coast. I miss living on the GC and would LOVE to move back to the south and be a beach bum for awhile. 😉

A few plans for the rest of the week………………….Friday night is girls’ night and Sarah and I are going to have fun. We’re going to go get pedis, grab a bite and maybe go see a movie. I need to get out of this house and so does she!

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